One day I will build a fountain
  Drink and never grow old
  Then I'll market an elixir
  that will eliminate the common cold
  Find your sickness on my list
  Pay up front and make a wish
    One day I will work with animals
  All the tests I'm gonna do
  All my stuff's completely natural
  And when we're done we'll boil 'em
  down for glue
  that we can use to re-adhere
  your lips to mine if you were here
    There's a lot I will never do
  Some fantastic, I know it's true
  But none as much as my want to be with you
    I can't stand to wait in line long
  So I built a new machine
  It just measures up the distance
  and then eliminates the folks between
    One day I'll construct a satellite
  and I'll name it after you
  'Cause you were the greatest friend of all
  except for when you split my lip in two
  To see the look upon your face
  as I launch you into space
    There's a lot I will never do
  Some fantastic, I know it's true
  But none as much as my want to be with you
    Bye-bye self-respect
  I haven't had much of it since you left
  I missed out on the best of you
    Some day I will find the secret
  to your social chemistry
  Then I'll print it on a t-shirt
  and it'll make you want to be with me
  If I wear it past your work
  you'll see other guys are jerks
  Much like pheromones for flies
  you will not avoid my eyes
    There's a lot I will never do
  Some fantastic, I know it's true
  But none as much as my want to be with you
    Bye-bye self-respect
  I haven't had much of it since you left
  I missed out on the best of you
    [Repeat]